Motivation After Awakening

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Sunday, 31 January 2010 15:45 Written by Nirmala

Someone shared the following in an email:

In August/September 2009 my personal story was seen through--dropped away. With it went all motivation. Without a self, there is no desire/fear of living or dying and, without those desires/fears, there seems to be no "drive." I have about two months of money left in the bank and absolutely no desire to get a real job. Still, I have no worries and sleep like a baby.

That seems to be the biggest part of the "problem," the lack of motivation. The other part of the "problem" is my lack of identity. Don't get me wrong, I know all the Advaita BS (Belief System) of "you're pure awareness/everything/nothing" but that isn't what it FEELS like. It/I feels wonderful, appreciative, in-touch, pure and loving and connected. I recognize this is just the mind trying to classify "myself," but it is still disconcerting (not having an identity to "pin" myself to) and some part of me suspects that it is connected to the motivation problem.

What motivates you when there is no "you?"

Here is what I wrote back:

Thanks for writing. Although there is no formula for what happens with awakening, I can assure you that your experience is not unusual.

I would offer two general suggestions. The first is an invitation to become very curious about what is present in the lack of motivation. The deeper movements of essence are much quieter and simpler than our old desires and attachments, so it can take a very sensitive ear to hear them. It sounds like you are already in touch with them when you say, "It/I feels wonderful, appreciative, in-touch, pure and loving and connected." So the question is where does that appreciative love seem to be flowing most naturally and authentically? Where do you still find a deeper longing in your Heart? This is where there really is no formula. Every expression of the mystery is unique including every snowflake. So what that flow looks like in your case will be as unpredictable as the weather. It may mean continuing an extended period of relative rest and quiet or you may find yourself busier than ever. The key is to be very curious about what is true in your own Heart. What is it really that allows the deepest opening and/or rest right now?

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Everything is Spiritual

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Saturday, 30 January 2010 19:23 Written by Nirmala

Another email question:

I've been writing a story lately. It's turning out to be nasty, I mean it's like a soap opera. One character gets murdered! I'm having a whale of a good time, but I've got this nagging doubt in the back of my mind: is it spiritual? I mean, the feeling is more, I wish my characters were more spiritual or had loftier ambitions or something. Or perhaps I would be a better person if I wrote books about spiritual development.

My response:

Sounds like a good story!  This is another chance to check in your own heart to know what is true. There is no formula....and writing a nasty story can be a wonderful way to see more of our inner conditioning and also maybe just enjoy creating something with some good drama in it.  Because you say you are having a whale of a good time, my guess is that it is something that is true for you right now. Does it open your heart and allow you to feel more alive to write? If yes, then go for it!

Do not worry too much about being spiritual as that is a big category: it only includes everything!

 

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What Power Does the Ego Have?

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Friday, 29 January 2010 19:12 Written by Nirmala

In response to yesterday's post, Half the Truth, I received a follow-up question:

Thanks for your answer. It is an honor that you put this conversation on your blog, but, please don't put my name and my e-mail eddress on there.

Now, you said "The ego wants to create what it wants regardless of what Being wants".

But my questions are: Does the ego have the power to create what it wants to be, have and do ? Does the ego have the power to block the natual flowing of life through me ? Or can the ego only create psychological suffering or happiness, but it does not have the power to block the flow of life or  to create what it wants ?

Here is my response:

As a rule, I will not include anyone's  name or email on here without their permission.

And as for your follow up questions, it is not a matter of yes or no. It is more a matter of degree. The ego has a small degree of power to create what it wants, and at times to block the flow of life temporarily. However in a sense it does have a lot of power to cause you to suffer, although ultimately suffering itself is just a thought or belief. There is no actual thing called suffering. It only exists as a thought.

For example, there is probably some furniture in the room where you are right now. You can think about the furniture but it also has a bigger reality as physical objects. Compare that to an imaginary baby elephant in the room where you are right now. You can think about it and even imagine it in great detail, but it is still not really there.

So suffering is all imagined like the baby elephant. That is why the ego has so much power to cause us to suffer.....because it does not take much power to imagine something. It is the gap between our idea and the reality that causes all of our suffering. You can read more about this here.

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