Friday, 18 June 2010 15:33
Written by Nirmala
A friend asked me about the nature of resentment and how to move beyond it to forgiveness. He also asked about how to experience love when he thinks it is just an illusion. Here is my response:
What I would say about resentment and forgiveness is that it is not a question of one or the other. There is room in your awareness for both. You can let all of your resentment be here just the way it is. And then you can also look to see if there is anything else here besides resentment and hurt. Is there also space here? As big as these feelings of resentment seem sometimes, how big are they compared to space itself? Obviously there is a lot more space here than resentment or any other feeling. When I say space, I am talking about all of the space, time (which is another dimension of space) and awareness in the universe and beyond. That is probably quite a bit bigger than even your biggest resentments!
What a relief! You do not have to get rid of, or solve, or fix your resentment to also experience forgiveness. Resentment is natural and normal. You can feel it just as much as you feel it. And then notice all of the space around your resentment, and also notice what else is here in that space. That is where you will find forgiveness and everything else you might seek.
And as for the question of how to experience love when you think it is just an illusion, again I would suggest looking to see how much space there is here right now. Is space an illusion or does it exist? Do you believe in the existence of space? Does the existence of space depend at all on your believing in it, or is it just here right in front of you? And can you find an end to the space that is literally present right in front of you this very moment, or does it extend out infinitely? Within that limitless space there are feelings that come and go including the "good" feelings most people call love. But what if the space itself is the love? Space is the softest, most allowing, most tender thing there is. Right now it is holding you and all of your resentments and doubts in a totally accepting embrace.
The only trick to experiencing this "true" love that allows everything and forgives everything is to look for it in the last places you ever think to find it. Notice that love or space is allowing your resentment. Space itself does nothing to stop you from feeling or even expressing resentment. What a strange and ever-present quality space is! It is not choosy. It does not love this and not love that. It loves and allows everything!
Once you notice that spacious love allows your resentment totally, then you might be able to notice that there is also space for the persons or actions that you are resenting. Again, space does not pick and choose. It allows them to do the things you resent and it allows you to resent them.
You may wonder, so what? Everything is allowed by space. So what? Well if you want to experience your deepest true nature, then you may want to get curious about this strange thing called space. If you want to experience the infinite capacity for forgiveness that your consciousness naturally has, then you may want to become curious about the loving softness of empty space. That is where forgiveness comes from. That is what is able to forgive and able to love, in part because space has nothing to lose. It loves and allows everything because it cannot be harmed. And it turns out that everything that really matters in life comes from emptiness or space: love, forgiveness, joy, compassion, strength, clarity, inspiration, pleasure, satisfaction and more.
At first we can discover the nature of space by exploring this mystery that there is space for everything. Why is there so much room in this universe, and also within our consciousness? Where did all of this infinite space come from? You do not need to search for space. It is right here. You are in it. It permeates you or you permeate it depending on how you look at it. And of course anywhere you look there is more space. So called physical objects are actually made up of mostly space. And even sub-atomic particles appear more like space than like things when science studies them.
Is it possible that what we call things are also really space? What if it is just one space that vibrates at different frequencies or has condensed into different densities depending on whether we are seeing emptiness, energy, or matter? What if there is only space? All of your questions about forgiveness and resentment and anything else all ultimately point back to this one thing called space. That is where all of the answers lie.
And of course if all there is is space, then that is what you are also.
