Thursday, 28 January 2010 15:56
Another inquiry via email:
Dear Nirmala,
When you say "The good news is that even before you trust this deeper knowing, it has been working perfectly all along. The difference is that when you trust it, when you surrender to it, you don't suffer anymore. When, instead, you pay attention to your ideas about how things should be or how you want things to happen, this innate wisdom still gets you where you need to be, but because you are so busy with your ideas about it, you suffer. The good news is that this innate wisdom is not something you add or something you do or something you need to master, it is who you are."
This means that: Life is happening by itself through me as it desires and I can do nothing to create the life I DESIRE to be, have and do?
I can create with my mind only a description of what is happening but I have no power to block life expressing through me and no power to create what I desire?
Here is my response:
Thank you so much for your very good questions.
It is part of the limitations of concepts and thoughts that whenever anyone speaks or writes anything they are only speaking part of the truth. I would even say that the best anyone has ever done is communicate half of the truth! This is true of everyone, even spiritual teachers.
And so the quote you refer to offers some truth, but really only part of the truth. Perhaps the value of it is that it offers a part of the truth that is often overlooked or not even considered by most people. The deeper or bigger truth is that there is an innate wisdom unfolding this life that always gets you right where you need to go.
And yet it may also be true that this innate wisdom moves through you as your desires and even more importantly as your deepest drives and motivations. In fact it appears that the Mystery that is unfolding this life loves to play and create so much that it even gives you the power to choose and act as an apparent individual. And so even the apparent ego or false identity we form makes choices and even takes life and awareness in directions that cause us to suffer. The ego wants to create what it wants regardless of what Being wants! There is no mistake in all of this. The mystery loves this unpredictable ego it creates! There is also a deeper movement in us of our essential selves that moves in harmony with the wisdom of Being, and yet is still an apparent individual acting and choosing, only in alignment with Being.
The ego's desires move us at times and at other times we are moved by deeper drives coming from our essence. And we also are free to recognize that there is an even deeper source of it all and to surrender our life to that. We can paradoxically choose what is already chosen by the wisdom of Being.
This is not black and white and there is quite a dance between the ego and essence and Being that allows Being to create unpredictability and surprise within itself. Maybe that is the only way that something that is already infinite and eternal can create and play: by allowing something new and unpredictable to be created within itself.
So again there is no final truth in anyone's words. If you are enjoying creating and expressing through your desires, then go for it! And you can also rest sometimes and explore what life is like when you surrender your doing, or even more simply notice that life is unfolding beautifully even when you are just observing it. Surrender is not something we do really, it is more a result of the observation of the bigger truth that everything that happens is already a part of the intelligence of Being at work. This recognition naturally leads to a balancing of our tendency to overdo our doing, which is where our suffering lies.
I hope this helps, and I will share our exchange with others on my blog in case it is helpful to them also.
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