True Healing

Saturday, 12 December 2009 17:52 Written by Nirmala

Someone emailed me who is dealing with a severe illness. They inquired and found that they have little or no will to live, that they fear God is punishing them with this illness, and that they also feel they do not deserve to be healed or have a passionate full life.Here is what I wrote in response:

I am very impressed with the depth and honesty of your inquiry. And it does seem that in order to heal your physical illness, you must first "heal" your will to live issue. And in this case, the deepest healing is the recognition that there is nothing to heal. By that I mean that there is nothing wrong or bad here, and you have done nothing wrong. It is simply not your fault that you feel this way, it is your conditioning which is based on your actual life experiences. And your conditioning is not your fault.

And everything you have done in this life has simply been the best way you knew to take care of yourself. Where is the wrong in that? I know that there are plenty of people willing to judge you or blame you for your acts, but what if they are mistaken? What if it really is not your fault and you were just trying to take care of yourself. How can you judge someone for that or ever consider punishing them? (Note: I am not saying it is never true for society to protect itself by putting someone in jail, it just does not make sense to try and punish someone for an act that is not their fault, which is probably why punishment rarely truly works to heal or rehabilitate anyone.)

And so if God is any kind of a halfway decent version of a god, he/she would know this. Therefore a real and worthy God is never judgmental and would never even consider punishing someone. If there is a god that does any of that, then I say it is time to get a new god, and fire the old one! But fortunately all we have to change is our belief about God, since the reality is that God or Being never judges or punishes. We might try and punish ourselves (and even that is part of the way we try to take care of ourselves), but Being never does. You deserve and have always deserved to live, to love, to be loved, to have a passionate life with people you enjoy being with, and to live wherever you wish. And right now, the first step is to continue doing what you are doing and explore and inquire into these beliefs. You can also just send them the healing energy you send to others or your own body. Maybe you could put your hands on your head and send healing energy to your beliefs and guilt and the whole package of conditioning. You do not really have to get rid of them. Since belief is just a habitual thought and you can not get rid of your potential to think something, all you need to do is love them, let them be here, and see that they are not very true at all.

The important thing is to see that your thoughts are not very true (not to get rid of them or try to not think them). And again the truth is whatever opens your heart and quiets the mind. The truth can also have a felt sense of being very solid and real, like when someone says that the truth hit them like a ton of bricks.

Any thought or belief that you uncover that has the opposite effect is simply not very true. It is not wrong or bad or even false, it is just a very small expression of the truth trying to act as if it was a big truth. Like a little child trying to act big and strong. And so you can just love it for the truth it does have and invite it to relax and rest from trying so hard to be a big truth. There is room in your awareness for all of the truths, all of the thoughts, all of the fears. But you can also see them as they are, and see how they are not very true. This is the healing of beliefs: to simply see them as they really are.

And it is also ultimately the healing of any dis-ease or difficulty: to see the whole truth of it. To see the conditioning behind it, to fully and completely see the actual nature of the sensations your body is having, and to also really see the beliefs and conditioning about the disease. What is actually true right now? These sensations are here, but what is true about them? Are your fears about them very true? Is the love that can still flow through your hands and your heart to your own body very true?

The only trick to all of this is to start right where you are. If right now you do not care or do not want to live, then that is what you can explore and love and allow. Again you do not have to get rid of the feeling that you do not want to live, just explore it as it is. How true is that feeling? What happens if you just let it be here? What else do you feel? What else is true? No need ever to change how you feel or get rid of any feeling. Just find out everything you can about each and every feeling. And even that does not need to be an attempt to get rid of anything; it can be just out of curiosity and love for these strange and miraculous things called feelings. They are arising here in you to be seen and loved, not to be fixed or gotten rid of.

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