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Suffering Our Way Out of Suffering

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Q: I enjoyed talking with you on the phone, it was really nice to check in. I’d like to share something that happened after our conversation. I noticed that the sweet feeling of being in love with my life here, that I had after finding out my friend tested negative for the new virus, is turning into waiting for the next shoe to drop.

It has to do with the emphasis that some teachings place on suffering as our motivator and guide towards awakening. I have a pretty harsh superego which adds to this emphasis. So that I sometimes feel like I can’t relax and enjoy my life. I “should” be efforting towards enlightenment and being Present at all costs! I should be exercising my self control. And if I don’t, life will serve me up some suffering to get me motivated. Then I start to wonder what it will do to me next to teach me whatever I am supposed to learn. It actually creates more fear than trust in Life. And my superego gets in the mix with motivating me by scaring me into thinking I have to create this self control 24/7.

A: First, I would suggest that suffering is created by our mind, not by life. It still is painful, but the pain comes from what our mind is telling us. Life is not sending us problems to teach us, but the suffering we create with our mind is meant to show us that our mind created problems are not real or true. i wrote some more about this in these articles on my website:

So our fears, desires, doubts and worries generate suffering to show us that the fears, desires, doubt and worries are not very real or true. Again, life does not bring difficulties into our experience to teach us, but when difficult experiences arise, they are an especially good opportunity to discover that suffering does not come from our experiences. And when we do not resist or deny our experience, then any suffering that was present even in a very difficult experience goes away.

This is an incredibly subtle phenomenon, and so it takes a lot of careful inquiry to see the true nature of suffering, especially when there is a more profound or intense experience of physical or emotional pain. The difference when there is a lot of sensation or emotion is that it is much easier to also suffer. It is harder to suffer when things are pretty calm and easy, but it is still possible to suffer and to suffer a lot when life is actually pretty good.

Because it is possible to suffer over almost anything, it is also possible to suffer over suffering itself! Worrying that you might suffer is in essence suffering over the future possibility of suffering. It is sort of like premature suffering! When it is pointed out like this, it can appear kind of foolish. But when it is our own mind (and especially our own superego) that is generating these worries, they are very convincing. I have compared the thoughts in our mind to an IMAX movie: https://endless-satsang.com/the-imax-movie-in-your-head.htm

The good news is that we do have something else besides our mind that is able to discriminate how true or not very true our fears and worries are. Our heart shows us how not very true they are by contracting, whereas to the mind they appear very big and important. The contraction in our being is showing us how big and important they really are. If you feel very contracted when you are worried or fearful, that is the right way to feel. The smaller and more contracted you feel, the smaller the truth or reality of what you are thinking/feeling.

The kicker in all of this is that we were taught to respond to contraction/suffering with more contraction/suffering. We try to contract our way out of contraction, or suffer our way out of suffering! It is not our fault as we were taught to do this by all of the people around us who were doing it. And since contraction of our awareness expands our unawareness, it actually does work in a strange way to reduce our awareness of the initial pain or suffering. Unfortunately, it does this by creating some new pain and suffering!

As always, the way out is the way in. If we can just stop and experience the fear, doubt, worry, desire, contraction and suffering just as it is, that can stop the cycle of further contraction/suffering in response to the initial contraction/suffering. It turns out that contraction is just a particular sensation in our being and that it does not harm us in any way. You can go even further and trust your own contractions. They are always showing you exactly how true your fears and worries really are. It can be a surprising discovery to just go ahead and trust your being's response to suffering. That is how it teaches you, by showing you viscerally how untrue your fears really are. When you accept the feeling of suffering/contraction it is no longer experienced as suffering or contraction. Seeing that something is not very true is itself an experience of a bigger truth, and when we shift into a bigger truth, our heart/being opens and expands. And of course, you can also trust your being when it softens and expands, as it is correctly showing you that something is more true.

Again, this is surprising to discover that instead of fearing your suffering, you can learn to trust it (and also trust the absence of suffering when that is happening). It is meant to show you here and now how true something is, and it turns out that suffering, fear, doubt, worry and desire are almost never very true. Trusting in this way is like a new habit you need to learn. And we learn it by going ahead and trusting even when we are contracted. Every time you do this, it creates more momentum to the trusting response that embraces what we call suffering or pain, and discovers that they are actually very compassionate teachers. And even better, to discover that there is no pain or suffering when we trust and meet our pain and suffering fully.

I hope this helps.

PS: A good clue that something is not very true is when it is any kind of "should", even very spiritually motivated shoulds. The super-ego loves "shoulds" because they are so effective at scaring and contracting us. They just are not very true. 

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How True Are Conspiracy Theories?

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Q-I felt very much in alignment with the message Jesus gave about COVID-19, yet family members have bought into the conspiracy theories. The data they present is compelling and seems to be convincing people that the government is in on the false information being put out. And certain heads of departments, including Dr. Fauci, Bill Gates, and others are profiting from the virus that maybe they created to get patent rights so that when a vacine is developed they will make billions. UGH! What to do? It does "shake me up".

Wish someone could tell me the truth that is at opposite ends of the spectrum, raising my own fears about what is actually going on. Hard to know and trust my own truth. Any thoughts?

A-Thanks for your questions. It seems that you might be using your mind to try and determine how true things are for you personally and also for the world with this virus. The mind is not suited to that task because it sees truth in everything. And since all there is is truth, that means all of our thoughts and fears are true....to some degree. However, they are not all equally true, and some of them have very little truth indeed.

It is our heart that tells us how true something is for us, and also how relevant, meaningful, important and real something is for us. Simply put, a bigger truth opens and expands our heart (including our awareness and our sense of our self) and quiets our mind. In contrast, a smaller truth contracts our awareness and sense of self and tends to activate our thinking mind. Truths come in all sizes from very big to ridiculously small, and so you can trust your heart's response to show you how true, important, and relevant any thought, belief, fear, doubt, intuition, inspiration, insight, desire, etc. is for you.

This is always relative and unique to each individual, so what is important and relevant for your children may or may not be relevant for you. You can explore more about the heart's innate wisdom in part two of the free ebook, Living from the Heart, available here: https://endless-satsang.com/free-ebooks-free-spiritual-books61.htm

The mind in contrast is useful for gathering information to then evaluate with your heart. Specifically regarding the conspiracy theories circulating, you can quickly and easily find information that contradicts or debunks any particular meme that is out there by searching online, and then use your own heart to distinguish how true the conspiracy theory is or is not. Again, they will always have some truth, even if it is very little. The important question is how true, meaningful, and relevant is the information for you individually. I have also found this perspective helpful on how easily some spiritual seekers are misled by certain kinds of information: https://medium.com/@julesevans/conspirituality-the-overlap-between-the-new-age-and-conspiracy-beliefs-c0305eb92185

If you are on Facebook, there is also some useful discussion about this tendency for spiritual people to be more susceptible to conspiracy theories on this post by a friend of mine, and in the comments on the post: https://www.facebook.com/amir.freimann/posts/10158207218814243

I have also written at length about the heart-centered way of discriminating the relative truth of things in these blog posts:

I hope these perspectives are helpful.

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We Are Adding a Fourth Weekly Transmission on Tuesdays

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New: A Fourth Weekly Online Transmission on Tuesdays at 5:00 pm Pacific Time

We are adding another online Christ Consciousness Transmission during the week every Tuesday at 5 pm Pacific time (8 pm Eastern time, 1 am UK time, 9 am on Wednesdays in Tokyo, and 10 am on Wednesdays in Sydney).

We are now offering four transmissions a week at 5 pm on Tuesdays and Saturdays, and at 11:00 am on Thursdays and Sundays (Note that the time has changed on Thursdays to 11 am Pacific time). Click here for widgets that show the starting times in your location.

All transmission gatherings are offered by optional donation, and everyone is always welcome to join us. We especially encourage everyone to come the first time as our guest.

More details are on this FAQ page.

We hope to see you soon on the Zoom gatherings. Here is the link to join us: https://zoom.us/j/7863350099

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Here are some testimonials about the transmissions: 

  • “Just after you finished the transmission, there was a calm, easy presence that filled me. Then something extraordinary occurred—I had mobility in my neck.  About a week ago, my shoulders and neck jammed up, and I’ve been walking around like Frankenstein.... What you saw and what I experienced, with blood flow and the tingling in my mouth, then the instantaneous healing in my neck is awesome in every sense of the word, and I couldn’t wait to share this with you this morning. I even slept like a baby, hardly any shoulder pain this morning. It’s a glorious realization of Divine Power and Blessing and Connection and Oneness. Thank you for being the conduit for undeniable healing. As you could imagine, I’m kinda on a cloud-nine of awareness and gratitude today!” –S.B.
  • “The day after the session, I felt Christ presence in my heart chakra. This was a more direct experience of Christ than I recall having before. During the session, I felt a deep soft love.... Since the session, I felt some big chunks of fear release. During my meditation this morning, I felt myself stand fully upright inside for the first time, not bent forward/pulled down toward the lower chakras/emotions.... I feel that whatever happens in life, I can meet it from love because that's what's here, now that fear has been released and shakti is flowing. This is a significant change, since I now see that I was responding from fear quite a lot before.” –J.M.
  • “The transmission shifted me back into Love. Afterwards, I felt an expansiveness in my chest, like the shield that had been guarding my heart had fallen away. For the next three days, it felt like my heart was being healed and repaired. Old hurt, anger and fear seemed to drop away. In its place there was a gentleness, softness, and sweetness filling my heart. I am in awe of the affect this had on the relationships in my life. My husband and children began to mirror back to me my own state of love, patience, and kindness. I am deeply grateful to experience such a profound healing of the heart and for tapping into Christ's loving presence from within.” –L. R.
  • "Nirmala, I just wanted to say that the transmission experience yesterday evening was astonishing. It was a mind-blowing, 'psychedelic' experience, but one that was personal and soothing and healing and comforting. For at least a few moments, I just felt indescribably good, better than I can recall feeling for many years, if ever. It will take me a while to fully process the experience. My skeptical, analytical, left-brain dominated mind is intensely curious as to what the hell just happened, if you will pardon the expression!" –J. T.
  • “I am the same person I was when we last talked, but I am also suddenly very conscious of this other I, one who is not just the form or identity of the me that I seem to habitually think myself into, not the one skimming the surface of this life, but the I that I recognize has always been more and is now suddenly invited to come forth again, reveling with curiosity, authenticity, and newness/excitement.... There’s no measure of gratitude for your generous assistance in opening these higher chakras, Gina.  I truly didn’t believe I was so ready, but ‘it’ sure seemed ready for me. I feel like I’m just starting to experience what it is to literally get out of my own way. I’m eager to share my excitement of actually experiencing what I’ve only let myself learn and read about.” –S. B.
  • “Thank you so much for the transmission session. It was so beneficial and still is. I felt a little bit drunk afterwards. I see that anger no longer has the impact that it had before. Angry thoughts came, but I just saw them and didn’t get involved with them. I am much calmer. I am feeling the benefit of the transmission even now. I am so thankful!” –L. L.
  • "I loved the group Satsang and transmission this morning. It was incredibly beautiful and I am feeling my connection to Jesus renewing in a way that is deeply touching my heart. I will be on the Sunday weekly group sessions as long as you have them." -G.S.
  • “The transmission was very, very strong for me at the moment you were transmitting. I cried the whole time. I think your Heart just exploded, so much Peace and Love.” –M. B.
  • "I feel so much less fear, and so much more trust and seemingly subsequent happiness. It is that I now trust without thinking what I have trusted from a conceptual vantage point for years.” –B. K.
  • “I have been having very visual experiences with Jesus during the transmissions. He shows up right in front of me and shows me things or tells me things. It has changed me profoundly, and I am very grateful. Jesus is my friend and Beloved now, and I feel His Presence with me wherever I am and whatever I am doing. Now that I have that frequency instilled in my being, I am able to remember it and call upon it throughout my day. I now can use it to shift a challenging situation, to open to more joy/love, or to bring healing where it is needed. It is also very healing for me to hear the message of Jesus coming through your female voice and body. It helps me to know that, I too, can BE that—that, I too, AM that.” –K. W.
  • On November 12th, I experienced my first powerful Christ Consciousness transmission from Nirmala and Gina and a wonderful channeling through Gina. The transmission was like the best meditation ever. What I received was dramatic and life-changing. During the transmission, I felt the fulfillment of a calling to religious life, which had begun some 62 years ago, and I now feel I’m finally making some significant progress on my spiritual path and with my new mission. I’m beyond grateful.” – J. D.
  • “After the transmissions, I have felt totally calm, as if the emotional edge is off of everything, and the voice of the ego has been more or less muted, noticeably so. I find that although I react to things that happen during the day, it is with a certain distance, like an amused observation of myself. I try to stop and remember Jesus during the day, and recapture that calm joy when needed.” –L. K.
  • "When the transmission started, I was flooded with emotion that moved me to tears, a great washing over me of gentleness and space. I felt the sensations that I am familiar with when connected with Spirit: a heavy pressure in the brow and crown, heat emanating from the heart through the body,  and something I had not had before, an image of Jesus in a glowing long white robe stretching out his hand to me and flooding me with love. After the transmission, I sat for some time watching the flames in the wood-burning stove, in a place of quiet-mindedness, peace, and spaciousness. I had been in a dark place the previous week, of grief and perceived aloneness and loss, and since the transmission, that distressing sensation is gone. I will join you again. Thank you." C. P.
  • “Wow, thank you for the transmission this morning. I've never experienced anything so intense. I can't begin to describe it other than releasing grief, perhaps many lifetimes worth, realigning energy centers, releasing denseness, and feeling it resolve to a beautiful multi-colored light. Like a birthing experience, perhaps. Thank you for such a beautiful experience.” –Q. P.
  • “Gina and Nirmala are conduits for an extraordinary gift, the direct transmission of intensified Presence & Love. I recommend you sample what they offer, and when ready, breathe and receive.” -M.A.
  • “Just a quick note to tell you how profoundly I have been healed by my participation in these transmissions. I attended the first session in the most emotional pain I had ever experienced. My heart literally hurt. I had had an 'arms’ length' relationship with Jesus due to wounds of Catholicism. Long story short, I was willing to receive any healing this group of ascended beings had to offer. And I was healed, and I still am in grateful awe that this is true for me. The pain in my heart was taken from me. Wow. And thank you! I have been back every week since and plan to keep attending.” –L. C.
  • “I wanted to let you know how wonderful the transmissions have been. I'm receiving and feeling transformed through being so much more able to access the silent presence beyond the chattering mind. A great deeping. It is the most important thing in my life.” –J. B.
  • "I've been blessed to receive several CC Transmissions from Nirmala, and although all are uniquely rich in the mysterious depths of divinity that I can't quite describe, my common experience and takeaway gift is one of remembering and reconnecting to my true essence. I'm left with a surprisingly profound silence where thoughts once were..." -S. B.
  • “The transmission was so beautiful and profound and very effective. So much energy and consciousness moved for me. I felt so much got done in such a short period of time. It took me effortlessly to a very deep meditative place and sense of unity consciousness. I could feel everyone on the call connecting, becoming one, and receiving so much healing and help.” –A. C.
  • “Since the CCT, my relationship with Jesus has deepened and so has my meditation. I have received helpful messages during meditation that bring additional clarity. What is most important is that now I ask Jesus for help many times a day, and I know He is helping me. During the worse storms, there is a knowing that I am never alone. I know this will change my life. I am so grateful for the CCT.” –F. W.
  • “From the first transmission, I have been physically overcome and am just a puddle of compassion. My limbs are heavy and become unusable, as I relax and receive. Being open to receive really is key. Sometimes I notice sharp pains or the area of my heart feels void, open as if it has been replaced with God’s eternal flame. I welcome all the feelings and sensations as a gift. I've been brought to my knees through Jesus and the others’ presence. Large chunks of emotional pain have passed through as it transforms into light. These sessions, the words, and Presence of these nonphysical beings, are changing me on a fundamental level, complementing and enhancing my growth and devotion to my divinity. I can honestly say these are the absolute highlight of my week, and I look forward to each one. Thank you.” –B. M.
  • “Since beginning the Christ consciousness transmissions, there has been an ever-increasing clarity and understanding of the unity and relationship between subject and object. While they appear to be different, they are not separate, and are not seen to have independent existence. In meditation, there are moments when even the sense of unity falls away—there is neither thought nor experience—it just is.” –J. M.
  • “The transmission was really strong. I felt effortlessly peaceful, and it carried over to the rest of the day. I felt peaceful and grounded in my body, my mind was quieter, and I seemed to be in sync with the outside world.” –D. L.
  • “I am benefiting in untold ways and look forward to each week, in particular, the channeling from Jesus. Amazingly, the words are just what I need to hear! I noticed the transmissions change from week to week, always getting what I need.” –B.M.
  • “Every experience receiving the transmissions is a bit different, but they are always beautiful and uplifting. In the first transmission I received, I had a vision of Christ asking permission to enter my heart, which I happily accepted, and then I saw Christ step into my heart center. A profound feeling of being held in divine love and grace overcame me. It was a truly beautiful experience.  The effects of the transmissions have been, at times, subtle and others quite dramatic, but the general effects are a greater sense of ease in my daily life as well as a clearer perception of my divine nature, which is becoming more and more unshakeable.” –A.M.
  • “I am so grateful for the transmissions! I experience them like a cleansing. My heart region and back ached for some weeks. This changed into an energy flow throughout my body. The last two CCTs, I suddenly started being moved by this energy. My upper body turned around its axis for a while clockwise and then for a while the other way around. The movement felt very sweet. Everything was so light. When I meditate now, this sometimes comes back, and I feel connected to the subtle realm. Such effects are more than I ever wished for or thought possible.” –K. B.
  • “I have tried at least four or five times to start a letter to thank you for the wonderful Christ transmissions, but I fall short each time as I can never find the appropriate words. I used to just hope I would be able to join you every Sunday, but now it's a weekly priority of mine.  It's way better than any other Sunday service I have ever attended. For me, the transmissions give me a great sense of calmness, and I feel I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, and I am learning that peace of mind is no small thing. So, I bow down to you both, and I humbly offer my thanks.” –C
  • “I was guided to Gina's website where I was beyond thrilled to find the transmissions and channeled books. After just listening to the words, "This is the one you have known as Jesus the Christ," the feeling was that of a long-lost reunion with someone so close to you. It was an immediate healing of my heart and immense gratitude. I was on my way home! After many transmissions and digesting all of the channeled books. I now am able to pick up Jesus's vibration. It is so wonderful. My personal relationship is getting stronger each day. What a gift!! Thank you! I truly don’t have the words to express my sincerest gratitude. This has been a true gift! And for once in my life I feel loved and supported. Life is benevolent—truly!!” –G.C.
  • “I cannot say what a profound experience it was to look into your eyes. I have never seen gazes like yours before—a love and kindness I had never seen before, as if you would look right into my heart. I was touched, and everything else disappeared. The CCTs are life changing. I would never have believed that there is a whole other world to experience just by attending an event on the internet! I didn’t have experiences of energy flow before, and every Sunday it is a new little wonder to see that there is so much more to life than we think there is.” –K. B.
  • "During transmissions, I feel held in a blissful space – a sweet, sweet remembrance of Home. During and after transmissions, it feels like a purification process is happening in which the inner core is shaken and ‘that which I am not’ rises to the surface to be seen and released. Week after week, as ‘that which I am not’ passes, it has allowed for much clarity, lightness and rootedness in Oneness. Each transmission has been a blessing that unravels, cleanses and guides to a place deeper and deeper within the Self. An outpouring of love and gratitude to Nirmala and Gina as well as each and every one of you for the part you play in this beautiful symphony. -F.M.
  • “I am so grateful beyond words for this transmission, both to Gina and Nirmala (and the others who are assisting) for being vehicles for the energy and to Jesus and the other ascended masters. It is blowing my mind how there are times when it looks like Jesus is looking directly into my eyes through Gina and Nirmala! I feel like I’m being seen through the depths of my being and loved for all of it: the divine perfection and the flawed humanity. So profound!” –J. P.
  • “I am so grateful to you both and all the Ascended Masters. During the transmission on Sunday, there was a vibration and aliveness in my being like I have never experienced before. It really did feel like the pebble dropping in the ocean and becoming one with it. As the week has gone on, it has become easy to access this space in meditation and quiet time—a real shift in consciousness, which my being is truly grateful for.” –M. A.
  • “I cannot put into words the impact of the transmissions. In some, I have been just immersed in a state of divine union. In others, I've had depths of grief of trauma activated and released, sobbing uncontrollably. I know something profound is happening and beyond the transmissions themselves. Ever since my weekend with you, I've been cultivating my own relationship with Jesus, something that I've dipped in and out of over the years. But I am now turning to him for support for my deepest, darkest fears, feelings, and beliefs. And I am finding such profound solace.” –J. P.
  • “I wanted to let you know that the transmissions have been so good for me! During the transmissions, I felt a deep peace, and a few times I still felt that peace the next day. Since attending the transmissions, it is much easier for me to fall into a state of bliss when I just lay down, and I often stay in that bliss for hours. I also feel a deep peace, a sort of ‘everything is alright just the way it is’ during the day more often. I’m so very grateful for this! It feels so wonderful!!!” –L. S.
  • This afternoon I attended the transmission, and just as Christ said, the transmissions work on subtle levels, and I feel as if enlightenment is closer than I thought. It melted my heart for many moments throughout the transmission and actually pierced the veil, if only for a fleeting moment. I felt the care and generosity of Jesus the Christ, as I perceive Him, showering through both you.” –D. K.
  • “The intensive was delicious, in my experience. Three deeply buried beliefs of family-taught conditioning were flushed up to consciousness, where I can choose to no longer entertain these false identities. Surprise and relief. That inner space now occupied by love. The experience of looking into your eyes during the transmission is transformative in ways I can feel but not understand. It’s increasingly powerful over the days of the intensive.” –R. R.
  • It's a blessing to be part of these Christ Consciousness Transmissions. In addition to listening to and learning from a profound teaching of Jesus, the energetic transmission gives me such a peaceful and love-filled experience. Thank you, Nirmala and Gina!” -J. K.
  • “During the weekend intensive, the energy really built. The teachings were so right on for me, and one seemed to lead into the next. During one session on Sunday, I had some intense emotional clearing and feelings of regret/remorse come up and then the very next teaching was on forgiveness of self and others and basically a message of how there are no victims, which I needed to hear. The energy of participating in the whole intensive was very beneficial. Thanks again.” – C. W.
  • “(The transmission) was so powerful. I felt so much love. I was looking into your eyes, and I had this knowing that Jesus was looking at me as if we were sitting face to face. And I felt seen by him. I don't even know how to explain...it really was an intimate experience. It lasted through the end of transmission, and I felt so much joy. I can't even put into words. Thank You so much.” –N. N.
  • “Last evening’s transmission was beautiful!! What Christ passes to us through you both is the most precious gift ever!! Thank you for being this vessel for us.” –J. R.
  • “Today I joined your Christ Consciousness Transmission for the first time and was so deeply touched. Everything about it was miraculous, healing, and delightful. What a blessing! The Christ Consciousness energy was both exquisitely sweet and powerful, loving, and encouraging. My soul feels utterly refreshed and bathed in peace and love.” –T.G.
  • “There are no words to express the depth and awe of connection that this intensive has brought forth. With the movement of hands, galaxies unfolded, and all the saints and enlightened beings moved with us. There were no limits and are no limits to this consciousness. There were tears moving through, and all restrictions inner and outer melted and revealed their true nature. The love and gratitude were boundless. Gina poured forth a powerful stream of presence, complemented by the loving and expansive presence of Nirmala, both complete within themselves but together channeling a larger and deeper field. Deepest gratitude to you both.” -H.S.


Eyes of Jesus drawing by Peter Cutler