Q: On confronting so called problems, what is my role? I do not believe in therapy. In my case its a paralyzing fear of being myself with almost everybody, which is something I have lived with for a long time. And of course it's not my fault, but it's just some defense mechanism I picked up along the way. I don't want to side step this, I feel almost everything I call "me" is the resistance to this "fear". I find more and more in my life my the only thing Is to give everything too God. The mind seems to intervene at every turn and just makes a mess of things. I believe courage is the way forward , but every time I try to do something like acceptance the mind claims it and turns into a diversion tactic. Does this make sense: just doing nothing, keeping my attention on being, not letting thought steal my attention? I trust this place of stillness and I feel I don't need anything else. What our your thoughts on the matter? I feel like this is one big joke. I could catch the taste of love right on the other side of fear. I know it is pure love that we are, I don't want any part of myself in the dark.
A: I hear you about the trickiness of the mind's resistance. And if you can just stay with your attention on Being, then that is the simplest approach. However, there is a place for healing the mind stuff, so I would not necessarily reject therapy out of hand. Have you done some or even a lot of therapy? The key is to find a therapist and therapy with a deeply spiritual orientation.
I often say there are two aspects to the spiritual process. One is to develop contact with Essence or Being and eventually to realize that is what you truly are. The second aspect is to heal the stuff that gets in the way of contact with Essence. The art is knowing when to just rest in Being and when to focus on and inquire into the mind stuff. Someone once said that life is one damn thing after another, but therapy is called for when it is the same damn thing over and over. So when something is reoccurring over and over, then having someone with a more objective viewpoint guide and support your inquiry is helpful.
The purpose of the inquiry is to simply know the truth of your experience, not necessarily to change it or fix it. The deepest healing is when we discover that there is nothing here that needs to be healed. That requires a deep and subtle exploration into the heart of your fear and resistance until you know that it is not just in the way of love, but is also made of love itself. What else but love can care enough to resist or be afraid? To bring something out of the dark, all you have to do is shine the light of awareness on it. You do not need to get rid of it or change it.
Ultimately, your own heart is the truest guide to this journey, The truth is whatever opens your heart and quiets your mind. If you find a particular therapy or practice does this, then it is true for you. If you find the opposite is happening, then it makes sense to drop it and try something else.
I hope this is helpful.