Q: I’m confused over knowing when my intuitions are true and when the ego is imitating my intuition. It makes it hard to decide what to do. Maybe it doesn’t matter what you do, but it feels like it does.
A: The truth not only has many levels, but these levels are all operating at the same time. So when you have an intuition and follow it, that may be essence working through you to create a certain experience in line with a deeper wisdom and your life purpose. At the same time, your ego will either resist that intuition and try to block you or decide it likes that intuition and maybe even take credit for it! The ego can interfere with an intuition or even mix things up by trying to make something happen that the ego thinks should happen in relation to that intuition.
What you do or where you end up obviously matters on a relative level, but the even bigger truth is that the empty, spacious awareness that is experiencing all of this can’t be harmed no matter what you do. Wherever you end up and whatever happens, the empty space of Being will be just as empty and just as aware.
Realizing this bigger truth is likely to affect the unfolding of the smaller truths of both intuition and egoic agendas. For example, knowing that you can’t be harmed might make it possible to risk following your intuition or even risk indulging in a particularly irresistible egoic desire. It’s like gambling with someone else’s money—what do you have to lose?
The truth isn’t something we can grasp, define, or get a hold of. It might be more accurate to say that the truth has a hold on us and is playing us like a maestro plays the orchestra: a little more brass here, a little less ego there. The mind tries to find some kind of meaning in or explanation for all of this. The Heart knows that love never gets meaning from life, but gives meaning to life. And like any truly creative process, the results are always a wonderful surprise, even to the creator!
Inquiry into the truth isn’t meant to be a way to finally get it or get somewhere, but a way to uncover ever bigger mysteries. What an amazing journey it has always been.