Who Am I? Regardless of Where Am I?

on 02 August 2018.

Q: It's been about 3 years since I was introduced to Sri Ramana's 'Who Am I' document with the 11 questions. Honestly though, it was a tough first read and I have sought those who are recognized as being experts in 'translating' Maharshi's words into more understandable language. My 'Who Am I' has morphed into 'What Am I'. It seems using the word 'who' activates not only a sense of identity, but along with it a location.

The location is what doesn't shake loose when I look inside. I have had many and now increasingly more experiences of getting past the 'Me', not not past the location. Whatever's happening is happening 'here'. Whatever isn't happening brings me to a place that 'suggests' no location. But the conversation seems to hinge around where these experiences are taking place? I have yet to have a conscious location-less experience. I don't know if that's really important though or if that's just my mind looking for an enlightenment 'event' Whatever it is that's going on in this individuated consciousness location, it is plain to see that the human aspect has been greatly transformed over a period of time.

Since my nature is infinite, then I will never reach the end of me, so there is no rush to make anything happen although my mind is convinced that something should 'happen'. Your thoughts?

A: I also find it helpful to ask the inquiry question in different forms. There are many more suggestions for possible forms of the self-inquiry question in this article on my website: http://endless-satsang.com/the-practice-and-purpose-of-self-inquiry.htm

As for the sense of location, that is probably going to mostly persist as long as you are still in a body. It obviously is practically advantageous to orient to the location of the body most of the time. However, the nature of awareness or consciousness itself is the same whether it is in a location, has no location, or is experienced as an expanded or infinite location, just as water is still wet whether it is in an ocean or in a teacup. You can still explore "Who or what am I?" regardless of "Where am I?"

So I would suggest you simply continue exploring the sense of me as it is appearing in each moment and not worry to much about the location it is appearing in. However, you can also experiment with inquiring more into the actual nature of this apparent "location". For example, you can ask where does the sense of "me" stop and something else begin? Is there a definite boundary or is it hard to find an exact edge to the "me"? And similarly, where does awareness actually stop? If you see or hear an airplane miles away, where does awareness stop and something else called unawareness begin? Or how about when you look up at the stars at night? And are you sure that awareness does not extend even beyond your physical senses? Can you sense the presence of the vastness of space even if you cannot see all of it? Where does this infinite space stop and something else called "me" begin? Or is the "me" actually just more space? Or is the space just more "me"?

These different kinds of questions may or may not give you a different experience of the location of the me, but they may at least soften the boundaries that we hold in our minds. There are no boundaries in awareness itself as it is truly one thing.

You may also enjoy some of the awareness exercises offered in the Headless Way of Douglas Harding if you are not familiar with them: http://www.headless.org/experiments.htm

As for your mind's sense that something "should happen", I will simply point to an experiential definition of the truth: the truth is what opens or expands your heart or sense of self and quiets the mind. Something that is less true has the opposite effect and contracts your sense of self and makes your mind busier. Does the idea that "something should happen" open and expand your sense of self, or does it contract you? This may even be a rhetorical question as I have almost never had a thought that includes a "should" open or soften my sense of being :)

I hope this is helpful.

beach cliffs evening 977736

Photo by Studio 7042 from Pexels

Invitation to Attend a Christ Consciousness Transmission for FREE

on 26 June 2018.

Invitation to attend your first Christ Consciousness Transmission session for FREE as our guest:

We have been touched and amazed by the responses and testimonials we have received for these online transmission sessions, which we hold every Sunday at 11 am Pacific time. In the interest of introducing as many people as possible to this transformative process, we would like to invite you to attend a Christ Consciousness Transmission session for the first time at no cost and as our guest. These sessions are offered by donation, but you are welcome to attend your first session for free by clicking on the Zoom link below. After that, the suggested donation is $10-$20 (US) per session. (See this page for info about making a donation: http://endless-satsang.com/online-transmissions.htm )

To attend your first transmission session as our guest, just follow this link any Sunday at 11:00 am Pacific time (12:00 noon Mountain Time, 1:00 pm Central Time, 2:00 pm Eastern Time, 7:00 pm British Tme, and 8:00 pm Central European Time:

https://zoom.us/j/7863350099

FAQ about the transmission: http://endless-satsang.com/faq

If you are not familiar with the Zoom platform where the meetings will be hosted, you can learn how to attend a meeting by watching the video here: https://support.zoom.us/hc/en-us/articles/201362193-How-Do-I-Join-A-Meeting- You can attend online on your computer, smartphone, tablet or even by dialing in from your telephone. (See this page for instructions to join by telephone.)

Recent Testimonials about these Transmissions:

“Just after you finished the transmission, there was a calm, easy presence that filled me. Then something extraordinary occurred—I had mobility in my neck. About a week ago, my shoulders and neck jammed up, and I’ve been walking around like Frankenstein.... What you saw and what I experienced, with blood flow and the tingling in my mouth, then the instantaneous healing in my neck is awesome in every sense of the word, and I couldn’t wait to share this with you this morning. I even slept like a baby, hardly any shoulder pain this morning. It’s a glorious realization of Divine Power and Blessing and Connection and Oneness. Thank you for being the conduit for undeniable healing. As you could imagine, I’m kinda on a cloud-nine of awareness and gratitude today!” –S.B.
“The day after the session, I felt Christ presence in my heart chakra. This was a more direct experience of Christ than I recall having before. During the session, I felt a deep soft love.... Since the session, I felt some big chunks of fear release. During my meditation this morning, I felt myself stand fully upright inside for the first time, not bent forward/pulled down toward the lower chakras/emotions.... I feel that whatever happens in life, I can meet it from love because that's what's here, now that fear has been released and shakti is flowing. This is a significant change, since I now see that I was responding from fear quite a lot before.” –J.M.
“The transmission shifted me back into Love. Afterwards, I felt an expansiveness in my chest, like the shield that had been guarding my heart had fallen away. For the next three days, it felt like my heart was being healed and repaired. Old hurt, anger and fear seemed to drop away. In its place there was a gentleness, softness, and sweetness filling my heart. I am in awe of the affect this had on the relationships in my life. My husband and children began to mirror back to me my own state of love, patience, and kindness. I am deeply grateful to experience such a profound healing of the heart and for tapping into Christ's loving presence from within.” –L. R.
"Nirmala, I just wanted to say that the transmission experience yesterday evening was astonishing. It was a mind-blowing, 'psychedelic' experience, but one that was personal and soothing and healing and comforting. For at least a few moments, I just felt indescribably good, better than I can recall feeling for many years, if ever. It will take me a while to fully process the experience. My skeptical, analytical, left-brain dominated mind is intensely curious as to what the hell just happened, if you will pardon the expression!" –J. T.
“I am the same person I was when we last talked, but I am also suddenly very conscious of this other I, one who is not just the form or identity of the me that I seem to habitually think myself into, not the one skimming the surface of this life, but the I that I recognize has always been more and is now suddenly invited to come forth again, reveling with curiosity, authenticity, and newness/excitement.... There’s no measure of gratitude for your generous assistance in opening these higher chakras, Gina. I truly didn’t believe I was so ready, but ‘it’ sure seemed ready for me. I feel like I’m just starting to experience what it is to literally get out of my own way. I’m eager to share my excitement of actually experiencing what I’ve only let myself learn and read about.” –S. B.
“Thank you so much for the transmission session. It was so beneficial and still is. I felt a little bit drunk afterwards. I see that anger no longer has the impact that it had before. Angry thoughts came, but I just saw them and didn’t get involved with them. I am much calmer. I am feeling the benefit of the transmission even now. I am so thankful!” –L. L.
"I loved the group Satsang and transmission this morning. It was incredibly beautiful and I am feeling my connection to Jesus renewing in a way that is deeply touching my heart. I will be on the Sunday weekly group sessions as long as you have them." -G.S.
“The transmission was very, very strong for me at the moment you were transmitting. I cried the whole time. I think your Heart just exploded, so much Peace and Love.” –M. B.
"I feel so much less fear, and so much more trust and seemingly subsequent happiness. It is that I now trust without thinking what I have trusted from a conceptual vantage point for years.” –B. K.
“I have been having very visual experiences with Jesus during the transmissions. He shows up right in front of me and shows me things or tells me things. It has changed me profoundly, and I am very grateful. Jesus is my friend and Beloved now, and I feel His Presence with me wherever I am and whatever I am doing. Now that I have that frequency instilled in my being, I am able to remember it and call upon it throughout my day. I now can use it to shift a challenging situation, to open to more joy/love, or to bring healing where it is needed. It is also very healing for me to hear the message of Jesus coming through your female voice and body. It helps me to know that, I too, can BE that—that, I too, AM that.” –K. W.
On November 12th, I experienced my first powerful Christ Consciousness transmission from Nirmala and Gina and a wonderful channeling through Gina. The transmission was like the best meditation ever. What I received was dramatic and life-changing. During the transmission, I felt the fulfillment of a calling to religious life, which had begun some 62 years ago, and I now feel I’m finally making some significant progress on my spiritual path and with my new mission. I’m beyond grateful.” – J. D.
“After the transmissions, I have felt totally calm, as if the emotional edge is off of everything, and the voice of the ego has been more or less muted, noticeably so. I find that although I react to things that happen during the day, it is with a certain distance, like an amused observation of myself. I try to stop and remember Jesus during the day, and recapture that calm joy when needed.” –L. K.
"When the transmission started, I was flooded with emotion that moved me to tears, a great washing over me of gentleness and space. I felt the sensations that I am familiar with when connected with Spirit: a heavy pressure in the brow and crown, heat emanating from the heart through the body, and something I had not had before, an image of Jesus in a glowing long white robe stretching out his hand to me and flooding me with love. After the transmission, I sat for some time watching the flames in the wood-burning stove, in a place of quiet-mindedness, peace, and spaciousness. I had been in a dark place the previous week, of grief and perceived aloneness and loss, and since the transmission, that distressing sensation is gone. I will join you again. Thank you." C. P.
“Wow, thank you for the transmission this morning. I've never experienced anything so intense. I can't begin to describe it other than releasing grief, perhaps many lifetimes worth, realigning energy centers, releasing denseness, and feeling it resolve to a beautiful mult-colored light. Like a birthing experience, perhaps. Thank you for such a beautiful experience.” –Q. P.
“Gina and Nirmala are conduits for an extraordinary gift, the direct transmission of intensified Presence & Love. I recommend you sample what they offer, and when ready, breathe and receive.” -M.A.
“Just a quick note to tell you how profoundly I have been healed by my participation in these transmissions. I attended the first session in the most emotional pain I had ever experienced. My heart literally hurt. I had had an 'arms’ length' relationship with Jesus due to wounds of Catholicism. Long story short, I was willing to receive any healing this group of ascended beings had to offer. And I was healed, and I still am in grateful awe that this is true for me. The pain in my heart was taken from me. Wow. And thank you! I have been back every week since and plan to keep attending.” –L. C.
“I wanted to let you know how wonderful the transmissions have been. I'm receiving and feeling transformed through being so much more able to access the silent presence beyond the chattering mind. A great deeping. It is the most important thing in my life.” –J. B.
"I've been blessed to receive several CC Transmissions from Nirmala, and although all are uniquely rich in the mysterious depths of divinity that I can't quite describe, my common experience and takeaway gift is one of remembering and reconnecting to my true essence. I'm left with a surprisingly profound silence where thoughts once were..." -S. B.
“The transmission was so beautiful and profound and very effective. So much energy and consciousness moved for me. I felt so much got done in such a short period of time. It took me effortlessly to a very deep meditative place and sense of unity consciousness. I could feel everyone on the call connecting, becoming one, and receiving so much healing and help.” –A. C.
“Since the CCT, my relationship with Jesus has deepened and so has my meditation. I have received helpful messages during meditation that bring additional clarity. What is most important is that now I ask Jesus for help many times a day, and I know He is helping me. During the worse storms, there is a knowing that I am never alone. I know this will change my life. I am so grateful for the CCT.” –F. W.
“From the first transmission, I have been physically overcome and am just a puddle of compassion. My limbs are heavy and become unusable, as I relax and receive. Being open to receive really is key. Sometimes I notice sharp pains or the area of my heart feels void, open as if it has been replaced with God’s eternal flame. I welcome all the feelings and sensations as a gift. I have been brought to my knees through Jesus and the others’ presence. Large chunks of emotional pain have passed through me as it transforms into light. These sessions, the words, and Presence of these nonphysical beings, are changing me on a fundamental level, complementing and enhancing my growth and devotion to my divinity. I can honestly say these are the absolute highlight of my week, and I look forward to each one. Thank you.” –B. M.
“Since beginning the Christ consciousness transmissions, there has been an ever-increasing clarity and understanding of the unity and relationship between subject and object. While they appear to be different, they are not separate, and are not seen to have independent existence. In meditation, there are moments when even the sense of unity falls away—there is neither thought nor experience—it just is.” –J. M.
“The transmission was really strong. I felt effortlessly peaceful, and it carried over to the rest of the day. I felt peaceful and grounded in my body, my mind was quieter, and I seemed to be in sync with the outside world.” –D. L.
“I am benefiting in untold ways and look forward to each week, in particular, the channeling from Jesus. Amazingly, the words are just what I need to hear! I noticed the transmissions change from week to week, always getting what I need.” –B.M.
“Every experience receiving the transmissions is a bit different, but they are always beautiful and uplifting. In the first transmission I received, I had a vision of Christ asking permission to enter my heart, which I happily accepted, and then I saw Christ step into my heart center. A profound feeling of being held in divine love and grace overcame me. It was a truly beautiful experience. The effects of the transmissions have been, at times, subtle and others quite dramatic, but the general effects are a greater sense of ease in my daily life as well as a clearer perception of my divine nature, which is becoming more and more unshakeable.” –A.M.

(Painting of Jesus courtesy of Danielle Tonossi)

Seeking vs. Letting Go of Seeking

on 21 June 2018.

Someone contacted me with a question about the best practice or approach for their spiritual unfoldment:

Q: How does one make the leap, from a witness still anchored in the body to not being confined to the body, where you are everywhere and feel and listen globally? I realize, have experienced and understand that there is only perceiving, there is no perceiver or perceived, but still this perceiving...this silent witnessing....with no mental constructs or formulations or commentary of any kind still seems to happen predominantly from and within the body, although from no specific point.

Is it grace that takes one to the next level...this sense of universal presence. How does one orient or shift to this?

A: This is a very good question and is one that I receive some form of often. My experience is that at every point of the spiritual journey, there is no formula for how to shift to another level or depth that works for everyone. We are all unique and so is our journey.

In fact, my good friend, Jeffery Martin, who is a neuroscientist, has researched this extensively and his findings suggest that all of the well known spiritual paths and practices only really work for about five percent of the people who engage with them. But it is not the same five percent on all of the different paths. So his suggestion is to try different spiritual practices until you find the one that does work for you. And as you progress on the path, that may also shift. The practice that opens and expands you at one point may no longer work after a time, while another practice may then be very effective.

That being said, one way you could specifically start experimenting with shifting the location of your perception is to read part one of my free ebook, Living from the Heart, which is available here: http://endless-satsang.com/free-ebooks-free-spiritual-books61.htm The exercises in the book are meant to develop more flexibility in where you are looking/sensing from, and eventually there are exercises that work with shifting the source of awareness to space itself.

I will also add that from my perspective, there is no one ideal state of consciousness or location for perception. My sense is that the ideal actually is a total flexibility of consciousness where you can freely and easily move from one state and one location to another. No particular state is functional all of the time, and all states or forms of perception have their purposes. The biggest freedom and the greatest functional effectiveness in life comes from this total flexibility and is not attained through reaching a particular state of being and then getting stuck there.

However, this flexibility is only achieved by having direct experiences of all of the different capacities of your own consciousness, so there is still a place for what is generally called spiritual seeking or spiritual practice. Again, the key is to find a practice that actually works for you now as a unique individual at this unique place and time.

Along the way, you may find that pursuing spiritual practices is often a two edged sword. When we read about or have glimpses of different spiritual experiences and states, we may then end up desiring them and thereby suffer from the struggle and effort to reach some ideal experience or spiritual attainment. It is ironic and paradoxical that our efforts to end our suffering often create some of the most intense suffering we can experience in life.

So along with our seeking and pursuit of spiritual attainment, it is important to develop a capacity to simply let go of seeking and striving. As you have suggested, it is mostly up to Grace or the universal intelligence how quickly or easily our spirituality unfolds. Our essence or Being seems to love all the many dimensions of existence and may not be in as much of a hurry to become enlightened as we are!

These two approaches are not contradictory, but rather complimentary. It is worthwhile to seek and effort toward the goal, and it is equally important to hold the whole process lightly and simply be curious about what you are already experiencing, even when there does not seem to be any progress or even when you seem to be going backwards. I said that the ideal may be a total flexibility of consciousness, and by that standard, every experience throughout our entire existence is an expression of our already inherent flexibility as consciousness. This moment is a rich and unique facet of the diamond of our potential as consciousness. So even as you seek and strive for new and different experiences, take some time to stop and savor the ones that you are already having.

Should you seek spiritual attainment or should you let go of seeking? Yes!!!

I hope this helps.

ivan torres 376140 unsplash